Who is abusing who?

Slamming all who favor the click of share buttons without understanding the real story behind.
You share the story of the student being 'tortured' by teacher, but you do not know that this is a special child that is causing problem to other students. What if your child is the one kena disturbed badly by this child? Would you blame the teacher not taking any action?
How much do you understand about the teacher's intention and the whole class dynamic?
Where are you now when you know this is a super dedicated teacher who didnt put the child to the state of 'just ignore her'?
Now good for all, this will be a good learning curve for all teachers, next time when they see any OKU or difficult child, they have a good excuse of 'just ignore her'. And this will be an even worst punishment.
The worst punishment is not physical abuse, but simply 'just ignore'.

好老师

中学的女校，好的尽责的老师，都是特别凶的。
Mrs Ho Peng Yong 就是其中一个。
光明正大的把每个人的错误写在黑板上。
总是大大声的骂人。
凡是被骂过的都肯定记得自己的错误到死，绝不从犯。
那时最怕自己的错误被摆上黑板，会觉得自己好像没有穿底裤的感觉。
一天，mrs ho 的爱将，写了一句名句，我到现在都还记得。
mrs ho 把它抄在黑板上，“suddenly he was a coconut tree."
我们一看句子就笑到肚子胀了。
我们的朋友也跟着笑，后来放眼一看自己的作业簿，才知道是自己的错误。错把saw 写成was。
多年来，我一直记得她一手叉腰，嘴角一颗痣的骂人样子。
但是，这个样子，很温馨，很贴心。
想起会很感动她当年典当自己的声音形象只为学子好好学习。
五年来的英文课，也就这位英文老师让我学习最多，鞭策最多。

还有一年的英文老师encik munir，一年进班不到半年，不是开会，就是在外抽烟。我没有讨厌他。那一年，我们有几个人组起一个study group研究英文小说。英文小说的词汇惊人，还没包挂惊人的性镜头的形容词让我们打开眼界。

有得比较，我们都会在恶劣的环境下特别珍惜所拥有的。
真的，被骂又如何？那是一份关爱呵。

Why kids laugh at when seeing others falling/suffering?

Some time ago a teacher friend told me she couldn't understand why there were kids who laughed without helping when seeing a friend fell down.
Now I do. Coz there are TV programs which is showing how funny it is for people to fall down and there are parents who laughed together with them. Say if you are the one who fall that badly, right on your head/knee/or private part, how would you feel with people laughing at you?

To add on that, when you try to tell the kids that it's not alright to laugh at other people in this mode, there are parents who tell you bluntly that "Why dont you ask the program not to show up?". What kind of absurb adult?

Today I let a group of teenagers watched a movie clip on a real life air plane crash, which is about the last 10 minutes of life.
Some of them laughed in the middle of the movie when seeing the passengers falling and hitting.
Blame them to no one, but the TV program/virtual games with lots of hitting and dying, and the laughing parents behind.
I told them straight that you must be something wrong to laugh at someone who is struggling for life.
Frankly, I really do feel sick with teenagers like this. And I feel more sick to see allowing parents who show disrespect of other people feeling.

绝对绝对绝对

老板的桌上放了根塑胶圈。
一转眼，就变了个样。老板要发飙了。好好的桌子，被人用永久马克笔涂鸦。一定要找出经手人。

这里所有的人都知道我一向处事认真，绝对不会有闲情做出这种事来。
而我也很肯定。这种调皮，绝对绝对绝对不是来自我的基因。

On teaching maths to young kids

One of the useful method that i have used to teach addition is:
1. teach her playing 3 cards三张牌
2. then ask her to count the total of car plate numbers while travelling to/back from school.(eg: car plate no.: 3346 = 3+3+4+6 = 13， then slowly progress to choose more complicated numbers like 8896 = 8+8+9+6=31, teach her to take out numbers that can form 10) .

Playing cards will do wonders coz u can pick card 8 and card9, use card 9 to cover 1 point of card 8, then u can easily spot 10+7, which then forms 17. 

All the best!

My rambling thoughts on education......again.

As an ex Maths teacher i hv nvr expected my kids to be excellent in Maths, they dont hv too, coz they are not me. my elder daughter since std 1 she didnt know how to do increment and decrement 逆序顺序，my std answer was: dont worry, this year u dont how to do, next yr u will know. now at std 6 she can comprehend questions like 13,19,x,31,37. i am repeating this to my 2nd daughter who is now in std 3 coz i know questions like this may not be quite suitable for 9 yr old. although i know there is education system to put blame on, but in front of them, i wont blame the system, i will only tell them this is just a challenge, there are many things in life that we may not be ready to take up but we can always get ready and observe.. my elder daughter since std 1 she didnt know how to do increment and decrement 逆序顺序，my std answer was: dont worry, this year u dont how to do, next yr u will know. now at std 6 she can comprehend questions like 13,19,x,31,37. i am repeating this to my 2nd daughter who is now in std 3 coz i know questions like this may not be quite suitable for 9 yr old. although i know there is education system to put blame on, but in front of them, i wont blame the system, i will only tell them this is just a challenge, there are many things in life that we may not be ready to take up but we can always get ready and observe. 把一个教育制度的盲点变成我们作为老师父母的生命和生活教育，这是我们可以给孩子最好的礼物。

我们很多时候喜欢断章取义，我们是可以向犹太人芬兰人美国人等等吸取宝贵的经验，但是there is also a reason why we are born chinese and bred in a multi racial/culture community，有原因的，凡事都有因有缘呵。we may be adapting sth but we have stayed dogmatic and we always thought 'this is good n that is bad'. 每个族群有自己的进行方式，诚如每个家庭都有自己的家风，我们不能说什么是好什么不好，只有最适合的。考试制度也一样，有些人因为没有考试而怠惰，所以重点不在考试本身，而是方式。但是方式也因人而异。有些人因为老师的谩骂而进步回来感激万分，所以重点又不一定是方式，而是这个人的福报到哪里。有些人因为老师一句话的而跳楼了，可是我们要看到的是，这句话只是一个triggering point， 不是主因，如果要追究为什么我们不说如果早知道我就好好装备一个孩子的耐力，如果早知道我们就让孩子在小时候累积多多的福报，让他以后的生命旅程中，有更多的善知识来引导他。每个时代都有每个时代的挑战,我常常记起一个西藏上师在讲解心经时这么说:dont get fantasy by the idea of 'the good old days', there has never been. 

On teaching and education

Recording down what i was saying to a mother cum teacher on the frustration about the education system and the working environment in a FB group:

Dear xxxxx,
I have been teaching till end of last year. Prior to teaching, I was in the electronic industry.
Never think of leaving a profession just because we think we don't like it. I can understand your frustration. Meeting up with positive and energetic friends are important. Stay away from friends who keep on complaining. Sometimes pouring out our grouses among colleagues can be quite damaging to ourselves.
I am available to talk over the phone too....am just another kepo being.

 I think there are basically 2 objectives of education,
 1.to impart knowledge 教书,
 2. to educate a being教人. 

At any time, when obj #1 is unachieveable, then we have to focus on obj #2.

Very often when the school work starts to trigger a teacher, it is also got to do with our internal family issues. How have you been coping with your family life lately? I hope i am not offending your privacy.

Once a great master who taught Heart Sutra told me, dont get fantasied by the idea that there has been 'the good old days'. It has never been.
Looking at the students who opt for expensive private schools, are we really sure that they are getting the best education system? Are we not seeing a lot of spoilt brats spending lavishly on parents money?
The best moment is the present moment. The best education comes from within our own minds. Just my personal opinion.

There are also some 'so-so' teachers whom by the standard of many parents may not to be up to their expectations. These are the lots that really really need your encouragement. Not everyone landed in teaching profession due to their passion in educating.

But putting the same belief system that everyone needs more love and care, we as parents can always do this: 信己无私 信人有爱(To trust that we have selflessness in ourselves , to believe that everyone has love in his or her heart.). I have seen many school teachers whom after attending Tzu Chi teacher training class, turned into more compassionate teachers.

Many years ago, i wrote this letter to my girl class teacher. She may not appear to be a 'loving' teacher, but i really appreciate her great effort in keeping the class in a harmony mode. She may not be that 'hardworking', but in her own ways, she lets students have their own pace of learning. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1874751261081&set=pb.1010163626.-2207520000.1382054125.&type=3&src=https%3A%2F%2Ffbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net%2Fhphotos-ak-ash4%2F208568_1874751261081_1593175_n.jpg&size=600%2C405

I stopped teaching in school, but i have continued my education journey in one way or another, in a more social mode.

Dear XXX, always remember that once a teacher, always a teacher.

You will get the joy of seeing students growing. Over the years, i cried many times seeing students achieving their dreams.

One of my ex students wrote this, "is not about how much u did to help me.. but to me is a teacher who didn't give up on me such a problematic student. in fact this changed my life. still telling many of my friends without the 2 teachers u n peter tan, i will not be who i am today. would definitely happy to meet u up soon!". All the hard work do pay.

When I was teaching this boy, I was pregnant with my 1st girl, I had a hard time with the fussy HM, I was teaching the first batch of Form 6 class, etc. But today i think i am blessed that i have someone else who are equally loving to cultivate and love my daughters. It was this thought "「以媽媽的心來愛別人的孩子，以菩薩的智慧愛自己的孩子。」"( Love other ppl children with a mother's heart, love your own children with a Bodhissatva's wisdom) that helped me to go through the process.

May all teachers and parents be cherished with peace and love.

YYY responded by saying "I wish you all; good; caring teachers will be in my boys school."
I replied, "no, i think this works. You will have to send out the loving thoughts and loving actions, then only you get loving teachers. i.e. you have got to cultivate it."

ZZZZ rebutted, "But my concern is not so much on students, but the entire "ecology" education system, the whole teaching quality, the system, and when the old retires..Do u really want me to write here? It's almost all parent's frustration."
My replied is, "I think every generation has it's own set of challenge. During our time, financial stability was an issue. Going for music classes has never been such an in thing, but we seldom heard of old folks not having the thinking ability due to lack of MQ, and some more old mothers who didnt go to school can sing lullaby well enough.
We may view that we have overcome this financial stability issue since everyone own a house(no need to rent like those days), but are we really off the issues of finance? Nope. Coz these days we have kids who often felt dissastifaction over what they had in life, from better/branded mechanical pencils to whether able to go for overseas trip in school holidays or not. And I always have a tester: any kids who dont complain and find joy in my old kancil which has poor air cond ventilation will definitely be a more complete human. So the fundamental issue is still back to : OURSELVES, OUR MINDS."

High respected Mdm Teoh Poh Yew too responded, "we are facing crisis in our education system now. Now tell ourselves that we are going to take this opportunity to demonstrate to our children how we overcome this crisis wisely."